If you’ve driven around Harrisonburg recently, then you know there are often a lot of cars on the road – and it seems that most of them are nearby campus. But have you ever thought about how your car feels about you jumping inside, zooming off, and speeding into a spot in the deck and then leaving her/him (I don’t know about you, but I name my cars – my current car is Walker) there for the rest of the day all alone? Well, here’s what your car is really thinking…
You think traffic is bad? Imagine how it is for me. I have a rough slumber, and you forced me to sleep in the cold. Have you noticed I get actiual ICICLES on my body? Even still… I’m always jolted awake by an alarm and then you climb inside of me and immediately wake me up. You force warm air onto me and want me to warm up within seconds, but as I said previously, you made me spend the whole night outside, so I’m basically frozen to the core. So, be a little patient, won’t you? After you’ve finally decided that most of the frost and ice is gone, or after you’ve become too impatient, you start stepping hard on my brakes. You adjust the direction I’m going in a bunch within a few seconds and jerk me around.
Well we’ve made it out of the parking lot, and here is where the fun begins. On some days, it’s actually my favorite part of the day, but other days I wish you would just use your legs and walk, or take a bigger vehicle. On the good mornings, I get to have a leisurely trip to the parking deck. I pass a bunch of my friends (but you usually don’t let me stop and have a long talk with them). These days you are usually more soft and careful on my brakes and wheels, which makes days like this less painful for me. Once we get to the parking garage, you make me drive over those horrendously tall speed bumps that almost misalign and pop my wheels and tires every time. Then after about 20 thousand of those speed bumps, you find the final parking spot. You force me to spend at least 8 hours alone every night and then you leave me again for hours on end during the day! The only plus about the days in the parking garage
is that I can talk with new friends every day.
On those bad days, though, I experience immense amounts of pain. You slam on my breaks every two seconds. You hold down my horn for at least a minute. You yell in my ears (I’m pretty sure your yell breaks the noise ordinance). I have to swerve in and out of lanes and listen to the muffled insults from my friends as they judge me for needing to speed and pass everyone in my way. I come so close to hitting into my friends and sometimes this even causes riffs between us. Finding a spot is definitely an adventure I would like to stop because the parking garage just is so tiny and cramped. Why can’t you park me outside in the fresh air?
It would be really nice if you payed more attention to me sometimes. I like being washed every month. Being vacuumed is also a nice thing you could do for me. Sometimes I lose some strength in my tires and it would be great if you could make them stronger and fill them up. Make sure I’m filled up with all of my “medications” in the hood, so that you can clean my eyes and be able to see.
Change my oil every once in a while. I deserve nice things once in a while, too, especially with all that I do for you! So please, please, please remember how much wear you put on me and that I need some extra care too.
Hopefully now you have a better understanding of what your car is thinking and feeling. Maybe take it for a nice leisurely drive through campus, go a little easier on the speed bumps, and clean it out every now and then.